Two Poems Unworthy of Emily Dickinson

I: A Double Dactyl

Rickinson, bickinson,
     Emily Dickinson
     hid from the world and
     wore a white dress.

With quatrains and slant rhymes, i-
     ambic septameter,
     Dashes and — Capitals
     she was obsessed!

II: A Clerihew

Emily Dickinson
thought Nature was magnificent,

except for that dang fly
that went all Kanye West on her when she died.

Discworld Clerihews

Mr. Pratchett (Sir Terry)
Made everything merry.
Discworld fans have always known
He would meet no one’s Death but his own.

* * *

Death
Can intone without breath.
You’ll know your life has lapsed
When you hear the small caps.

* * *

Sergeant Detritus
Would quite like to smite us.
But he’s rendered the issue moot,
Being knocked out by his own salute.

* * *

Tiffany Aching
Was not bad at baking.
But the thing that most pleases
Is her making of ambulatory cheeses.

Three Clerihews

for Guy’s birthday

Guy Stephen Glanville
Went to the park to play on a sandhill.
In order to excavate the low strata
He had to use a “bo-da-da.”

Guy Stephen Glanville
Will someday be thankful
That I never gave up my vision
Of teaching him to say “euphemism.”

Lacey Elisabeth Rose
Is the best sister I could have chose.
And for being an exemplary mother to her son,
I hereby award her a bun.